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Melbourne

The Place

Most people are charmed by Melbourne and its trams. My first impression was that the ever-present tram lines made my photographs look ugly. Not that I should have been too worried - there isn't much in Melbourne that's worthy of photographing. Nothing stands out and the buildings in Federation Square look strange, but not in a cool, arty way. I can't understand why Melbourne is always being compared to the structurally beautiful and impressive Sydney. Not only that, but the weather is unpredictable. The slogan 'The Place to Be' should be replaced by 'Four Seasons in One Day' on vehicle registration plates. I left England to get away from inconsistent weather. The city is often likened to Brisbane, as it is set on a river and has a laid-back feel. Brisbane can get away with a slow pace as it's much smaller. Melbourne however is busier, making it extremely frustrating when someone in front of you stops dead for some unknown reason in the middle of the street, in a shop doorway or worse still at the very top of an escalator. In fact, the city is so full of dawdlers that I found myself having to tightrope walk along the curb, where I found it a lot easier to avoid trams than I did people. Having said all that, on the upside, Melbourne's traffic lights seem to change more quickly than they do in other cities.

The Sights

Melbourne is hailed by the arty types as the 'cultural capital of Australia' with plenty of free and interesting things to do. After living in the city for two months, I started to see some of its good points. I'm not sure about plenty of free and interesting things to do, but I did manage to find a few:

Federation Square: Federation Square's free wireless Internet, concerts and exhibitions epitomises what Melbourne is all about. Tash and I had a couple of enjoyable evenings there watching the Winter Olympics on the massive outdoor screen and eating ice-cream and one Saturday night I went to the Square to use the free Internet and stumbled across the Sustainable Living Festival. There was a really unique dubstep band called Ganga Giri performing on stage who were so good they made me want to run up to the stage and ask for a CD.

And I suppose it is quite a nice walk up Little Collins Street, with its designer shops, theatres and posh restaurants, but for some reason I still couldn't fall in love with the place.

Melbourne Museum: I managed to save myself $8 by getting in for free - that international student card I got from STA Travel that didn't seem to be accepted anywhere (finally) came in handy after all. Some of the most notable exhibits include a wall hanging referring to the Lost Generation with the words: "Because a moment can become an eternity depending on what it contains (sorry)" and Phar Lap - a bizarre, huge stuffed racing horse which was the national hero in the 1930s. Unfortunately the Neighbours set of Paul Robinson's house was no longer there, because according to a museum attendant it had been there so long that it was falling apart.

Crown Casino: For the largest casino in the Southern Hemisphere, it was not the grand Ocean's Eleven style entrance I expected. But we had a fantastic night nonetheless. It was my first time in a casino, so I decided to bet $10 on Russian Roulette. I put $5 on 25 red (my birthday) and won $85! It was a massive rush, but I stopped betting while I was up and cashed in all my chips. Unlike the guy next to us who might as well have poured his money down the drain. Since taking out three guys in a row in our hostel poker game in Sydney, I was tempted to take part in the poker game upstairs, which was $100 to join with the prize money totalling $1 million. But apparently the game could go on for days and frankly, I just didn't have the time.

Neighbours: One of Sarah's friends, Dave, took me to Pin Oak Court AKA Ramsay Street and it's lucky I was with him because when we arrived I didn't recognise it. It's much smaller than it looks on screen, but looking back at the photographs it's clear that it is in fact the right street. I should have known that from the security guard standing at end of street making sure people didn't take photographs of the residents or trespass on their property. Afterwards we went to the Elephant and Wheelbarrow for the official Neighbours night. And although it was $40 to get in, it was worth every cent. We had a fantastic night as the entertainment was constant - a Q&A session with the stars, a quiz, a meet and greet with the stars and Paul Robinson and Dr Karl's band performing on stage. I had every intention of being cool and collected, but I have to admit that I was a bit star-struck when I met Steve Parker, Kate Ramsay, Dr Karl and Lucas (I think I've even developed a bit of a crush on Lucas after seeing him in the flesh).

Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG): We thought it'd be nice to immerse ourselves in some Australian culture by going to a cricket match. We only stayed for the first innings of the Australia V West Indies one day international as it started at 2:35pm and finished around 10pm that evening. Luckily Australia were batting first. If only I hadn't had work, we would've gone to the fast-paced, more popular Twenty20 game the night before, especially considering that the crowd for our game was only 25,000 out of a possible 100,000; but it was a scorcher of a day and Australia won, which was the main thing.

Chinese New Year: We were really looking forward to going to China Town for Chinese New Year, but stupidly we got our dates wrong and missed it. We arrived a day early on the Saturday night to a half-hearted Chinese dragon dancing around and an old Chinese man occasionally throwing firecrackers into the street and to top off the festivities of Chinese New Year, for some reason we decided to have dinner in a Thai restaurant. If we'd been feeling less hungover on Sunday, we'd have gone back to check out the real celebrations, but the way I was feeling, there was no way I could make it out of the bathroom, let alone the house.

St Kilda: With its industrial skyline, St Kilda boasts possibly the worst beach in the whole of Australia, but luckily the rest of the area is full of delightful boutiques, cafes playing live music and record shops. Popular with backpackers, it's Camden-esque and has a laid-back holiday feel.

Eating

Lentil as Anything: Staff at the restaurant are volunteers and Lentil as Anything (at the Abbotsford Convent on St. Heliers St) uses a 'pay-as-you-feel' philosophy to allow diverse members of the community to enjoy a meal without drawing attention to their financial situation. The food is delicious - spiced Asian curries, served buffet-style.

The Lounge on Swanston Street does $6 pizzas on Monday nights.

Cafe Culture Although there are numerous cafes and coffee shops to choose from in Melbourne, service is usually very slow. People in Melbourne are so precious about their coffee that they're fine with spending their valuable half-hour lunch break standing in a slow-moving queue while the barrista uses a ruler to create the correct chocolate pattern on the top of a cappuccino instead of working efficiently to get everyone served as quickly as possible.

Night Life

With a huge selection of pub gigs, outdoor concerts and festivals, Melbourne is known as the musical capital of Australia. Everyone I met in Australia before arriving in Melbourne told me I'd love the city once they heard about my passion for music. What they didn't specify was that Melbourne is the hub of indie and rock music. Not dance music. So immediately I was disappointed with the city once I discovered this. But for rockers and indie kids, Victoria's capital is to them like Ibiza is for dance music fans. And even I can appreciate the new level of busking where a whole band performs on the pavement rather than just one lonely singer with a guitar.

Summary

I had hoped to be captivated by Victoria's capital, but Melbourne's music, beaches, trendiness and culture just didn't do it for me.